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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665141">White Flowers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaboticaba/pseuds/jaboticaba'>jaboticaba</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Zombieland Saga (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst?, Flashbacks, Slow Burn, im super bad at tagging, mostly flashbacks honestly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:41:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaboticaba/pseuds/jaboticaba</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Junko is far from being in one piece but lately she’s been having trouble staying together. The past and the present just love to overlap.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He kept watching her. Junko lowered her head and hugged the rolled banner tighter in her arms. She had seen him before, him and the photographer he traveled with. The photographer was always lively and snapped photos of whatever seemed to move in his field of view but <em>he </em>wasn't like that. The two arrived to each of their shows and events without fail but more and more Junko felt his unwavering stare burning into her. She weaved through the crowds of people, a million reasons on her mind as to why she should turn and run. Junko just had to make the hand off and she was free.</p><p>The crowd of people pointed and awed and Junko raised her head to see what caught their attention. The first hot air balloon had lifted off. Her knees buckled and her hold over the banner turned into a death grip. Just make the hand off and leave. That's all she had to do. As she broke to the front of the throng of people, she could see her fellow idols waiting anxiously by a still anchored hot air balloon. Junko hurried, only allowing herself to look so rushed because all eyes were on the sky. The first banner they had made was ruined by a can of spilled paint, a second was made in the parked van but in a stroke of bad luck, the girls heading out to the hot air balloon festival had grabbed the wrong one.</p><p>Having realized their mistake, Sakura, Ai, and Lily spotted Junko pacing towards them and let out long held sighs of relief. The next few hot air balloons were lifting off, if they wanted to have their banner stand out then they needed to get up in the air before the first wave truly hit. The four of them crowded around the basket, trying to undo the tight knots made to secure the first banner in place.</p><p>"Why did you make the knots so tight?" Ai grunted.</p><p>"I learned how to tie knots from when I was on a historical drama, that's the only knot I know how to make!" Lily cried back. Having the four of them crowding together on one side wasn't doing much good so Sakura opened the basket door to attack from the other side and Junko, more focused on switching the banners than anything else, joined her. The last knot fell and the banner dropped, Lily pulled it out of the way while Ai held the new one in place and the two remaining girls secured it.</p><p>As they did, the jostling of the basket caused one of the ropes securing it to fall slack around its peg. One of the men who was helping to run the event took note of this and mistook it as the balloon being readied for lift off, so he made quick work of the three remaining ropes.</p><p>With the banner secured and the full flotilla yet to be unleashed, the girls let out small cheers for beating the timer with minutes to spare. Sakura, in particular, threw her arms up in the air as she showered her friends with praise. Her hand flew back and caught on the ballast, the momentum of which tugged it down and caused a burst of propane to feed into the flame. With all of the ropes disconnected, the two zombies standing on the grass were getting shorter and shorter by the second.</p><p>The cheers and general chatter of the audience became deafened to Junko. Her hands curled around the edge of the basket and her shoulders tensed. Lily and Ai were fully gone from view but they tried to grab onto the dangling ropes and keep the balloon from going higher but their combined strength wasn't enough.</p><p>This can't be happening. This can't be happening. Sakura was speaking quickly and flitting about in the basket, hurriedly looking for the way to lower the hot air balloon. Junko put one hand on one of the ropes and then hooked her leg over the side of the basket. The view below felt dizzying but she was sure they were still low enough that she could jump, it wasn't like the fall could kill her if she was already dead- but then she stopped. Junko pulled back and retreated. She sank down to the bottom of the basket and pulled her knees to her chest. She could imagine the headlines- <em>Local Idol Jumps From Hot Air Balloon, Idol Attempts to Jump to Her Death? </em></p><p>Even if she could survive the fall, she couldn't survive the scandal. Junko buried her face in her arms and just waited for this to be over. Sakura sat down on her knees beside the Showa Idol, resting her hand on her back.</p><p>"It's going to be okay, Junko. They do this every year so they must know what to do in case people don't know how to get down!" Sakura kept getting up to look how high they were before finally releasing the banner. She made sure to avoid the ballast, no matter how important promoting Franchouchou was, Sakura didn't want to keep Junko up in the sky longer than necessary. A morbid curiosity consumed her and Junko sat up on her knees and hesitantly looked over the edge. </p><p>They weren't as high as they could have been but the altitude was enough to make Junko shake. Her breath grew quick and shallow as she started darting her eyes around wildly. Junko wasn't sure what she was looking for, just something that could distract her from reality for a moment. The journalist popped into her head so Junko forced herself to play a little game. Find the journalist in the packed crowd of people. Had she eaten before coming here, Junko may have vomited from the stress.</p><p>The faces of the crowd blended together with soft edges that was now nothing more than an impression of the many lives that had gathered.</p><p>A singe set of eyes stared at her with wild intensity. His gaze was unbroken as he watched her, hands cupped over his mouth that was surely covering a maw that didn't know whether to gasp or grin, just standing there and watching her. Junko's livelihood depended on people watching her and yet the look in his eyes made her wish she was invisible.</p><p>She should have left them to handle the banner themselves. Junko sank back down to hide, hide from the people, hide from the earth that fell further and further down. All she had to do was bring them the banner and then she could have been gone. She shouldn't be here.</p><p>She shouldn't be here.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She shouldn't be here. If Junko's hair wasn't already white then it would be greying from the stress. She couldn't remember a time in her life when she had ever been more nervous. She didn't want to look, she couldn't, but hiding forever wasn't an option. Junko found the courage within herself to turn and take a second look but the sight made her knees buckle.</p><p>It was a packed house. No one had told her that the live studio audience was going to be this big. What if she forgot her lyrics? What if they hated her? There were so many other performers lined up for tonight, performers who had done shows before and performers like her with big dreams of making it in music, what made her think she could measure up to them?</p><p>“Konno Junko, you’re on standby.” The stage manager said as he passed by. There really was no backing out of this now. The singer on stage finished her song and the eponymous Momoko came out to congratulate her, the singer departed stage right and Momoko began to introduce Junko. </p><p>Take a deep breath and walk out. Smile, wave, and then wait for the music to start. That’s all the pretense she had been given backstage. There went her queue and Junko put on a smile and started walking. Deep breath.</p><p>"Junko, how are you doing?" Junko didn't respond in favor of trying to keep her heartbeat under control. "...Earth to Junko, are you okay? JUNKO!"</p><p>Snapping her head upwards, Junko saw Kotaro in the driver's seat, twisted back to face her. "Look, if you really want to, you can stay in the van but you'll feel better if you go out and enjoy the festival with the others."</p><p>"I know, I just need another minute to gather my nerves." She could feel Kotaro winding up to yell about how she should get out of the car already and go help the others promote their concert. "This is going to be a big concert, yes? Should we expect to do an interview?"</p><p>"Hm?" Kotaro turned back in his seat and adjusted the rear view mirror. "It's too risky and I know that's to the detriment of Franchouchou but I can't have any of you making a slip of the tongue when there's someone actively taking record of every word you say."</p><p>"There's this reporter th-"</p><p>"The one who writes for Sagazine, I know. He hasn't asked for an interview yet and so far he's only had positive things to say about Franchouchou but I've been keeping an eye on him. Try not to get too close to him, I don't want any of you answering questions when you're not prepared."</p><p>Junko stepped out of the van and closed the door behind her. Even the parking lot was busy with people who were coming and going from the festivities. The music grew louder as Junko approached the main street. Her knees still felt weak but the fact that she was on solid ground again made everything seem more colorful and gave her enough of a boost in confidence to walk past strangers without worry. Though Junko knew she had to catch up to the others, she still found herself taking her time to observe the shops and buildings that she passed.</p><p>She would stop at store fronts that had a familiar character on banners and as stickers on windows to advertise but when Junko looked closely at the interior there would always be something- a think black box of a Tv playing something she didn't recognize, sleek machines on counters where cash registers would be be waiting inside and Junko would quickly tear herself away.</p><p>Despite the repeating cycle, Junko found herself walking out of her way towards a hair salon she happened to pass. A parade was a street away and she was more interested in looking at a salon, Junko wondered if that was vain of her but they were always a happy place for her.</p><p>Junko opened the door and that familiar ring echoed throughout the room. Three women were lined up perfectly, each with a smock and a fashion magazine and a hair dryer pulled down over their hair curlers. She could remember being a little girl and how those women defined what it meant to be glamourous in her book. Junko stopped by the counter to admire the vase full of dahlias before taking up residence in one of the unused salon chairs. Within moments a woman emerged from the backroom and gave her a big smile.</p><p>Her mint green dress was covered by a clear plastic apron, she matched her earrings to her white shoes, and her hair was chic and stylishly curled as befitting for a hairdresser. Everything about this woman made it clear that she was all for the changing tastes in fashion, most kids would have cringed to see their mother dressing so young and hip but Junko didn't mind. Her mother walked over and spun the chair around so that Junko was looking at herself in the mirror, her perfume heavy and artificial and comforting. Manicured hands ran down Junko's long hair and splayed it out.</p><p>"Okay, Sweetheart, what are we doing with your hair?"</p><p>"I want to go short, just like the girls on Tv." Her mother held a lock of Junko's hair flat between in her index and middle fingers level with her chin and tsked.</p><p>"Just this time last year you were so set on growing your hair out as much as possible but if you want the idol look, that's what you're going to get." She turned to look at the women in the hair dryers and spoke loudly. "It's not every day that you get to be on <em>Tv</em> after all!" Once she was certain that the three women where thoroughly impressed, she turned back to her daughter and leaned in, playfully squeezing her shoulders. "Well, maybe it will be for you once you show everyone what you can do!"</p><p>A part of Junko wondered if her mother was still alive. A part of her wished to never know, she wasn't ready for that answer. It was very possible, Ai had mentioned to her how long life expectancy had gotten, though her mother would be in a care facility if she was. Junko pushed herself away from the salon window, unable to continue on this train of thought.</p><p>The parade wasn't far and with the music getting steadily louder, she knew that it was already in progress. Most of the side street had emptied out and crowded where the two roads married. Breaking through the pack to find the others was going to be a challenge but the zombies had a way of getting into situations that made them easy to find. Junko pushed on through the ignored street, were it not for the parade than the only sound Junko would have heard was the rustling as a figure sank further into a narrow alley and out of view as she passed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey so I completely forgot to give the story a summary up until now so to the nine people who clicked on this blank book with feeble tags you guys are true homies</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The telltale sound of grunting was more than enough for Junko to know she was going in the right direction. With the heavy smell of food cooking in the air, the idol could picture the other girls having to hold Tae back before she dove headfirst at an unsuspecting vendor. Her musings came to a sudden end as a hand pressed down on her shoulder-</p><p>"Whoa! Sorry, didn't think you'd still be jumpy." Saki stepped back and put her open palms up before her. Junko peaked her eyes open at the sound of her voice and steadily lowered her arms as she unfolded from her flinch.</p><p>"Why didn't you just call to me?"</p><p>Saki scratched her head, an apologetic smile on her face. "I was gonna but now that we're starting to get some fame figured I shouldn't go 'round shouting our real names and with us being so close to the food stalls, thought yelling out Number Four wouldn't reach ya. How're you feeling, anyway?"</p><p>Junko pointed her foot off to the side and looked down. "I'll be fine. I won't let nerves ruin tomorrow's show."</p><p>"C'mon," Saki threw her arm over Junko's shoulders. "let's get some meat on a stick to make you forget all about nerves! <em>Plus</em> Lily's hunting for crepe stand so Big Sis can try one and I'm sure the pipsqueaks gonna want all of us there for Yugiri's first crepe." The two zombies began walking towards the lines of food stalls and Junko was more than happily to forget all about the hot air balloons.</p><p>A tingling sensation creeped across the back of Junko's neck making her hair stand up. She darted her eyes- Saki's hand was hanging over Junko's shoulder and the other was by the biker's side. Holding her breath, Junko looked over her shoulder.</p><p>No one was behind her. Even in the busy street the idols had a small bubble of space. Her feet planted against the ground. Something was there that shouldn't be. Even though she couldn't see it, she could feel it. She was certain of it. It was as if she could look hard enough she could find it. Junko wasn't even sure what <em>it </em>was but it was burning and intense and unbroken.</p><p>Saki looked over her shoulder as well and when she saw nothing, she ushered Junko along.</p><p>Junko had no idea how she was keeping it together. The small office was dully colored and a mess of file boxes but as the man behind the desk sorted paperwork and his associate leaned against the wall with a cigarette, Junko was brimming with excitement.</p><p>"Right, Junko." The man at the desk laid out the stapled stack of papers before her and Junko took it into her hands. "We'll handle everything from promoting, getting venues, producing the actual music- don't worry yourself with any of that. There's a couple of clauses in that contract but most of the ones that will make this null are things like licensing the rights to our songs to other agencies, stuff like that." He tapped the paper before waving his hands off into the air as he spoke.</p><p>"I'm thinking we need to get you a new look." The other man said after snuffing his cigarette in the ash tray. He walked over to Junko and loosely picked up the ends of her hair to hold it out level and observe the length. "Hair this long is going be flat no matter what you do to it. Going short's going to make it hell of a lot easier for stylists." Junko pushed her hair over her shoulder and ran her hands through it.</p><p>"...Do we really have to cut it?"</p><p>"Look Junko- it's just hair. No reason for you to get upset. You want to be an idol, don't you? It's all part of the job."</p><p>"There's a lot more to the job than just singing. No one's going to want to buy an album if you aren't marketable and to be marketable you have to be willing to put in the work on stage as well as behind the scenes. This is all part of the contract. If you aren't willing to do something small like this then you should reevaluate your place in the field." Junko wordlessly threaded her hands together and let them lay in her lap, watching them to avoid having to look either man in the eyes.</p><p>"I love your hair."</p><p>"Oh! Thank you." Junko replied quietly, certain her cheeks were turning red after the unexpected compliment.</p><p>"Reminds me of something I would have worn when I was your age!" The middle age woman grinned as she turned skewers over the grill. Between Saki and Ai's mutual love for grilled meat and Tae's endless hunger, the order the zombies had placed was massive and the grill was well covered. The older couple manning the stall were nice about it, if they were overwhelmed by the size of the order then they didn't show it. "Actually- you know who your hairstyle reminds me of?"</p><p>All of the color drained from Junko's face. The other zombies froze in their conversation and snacking, now immersed in a cloud of still panic. "You're probably too young to know who I'm talking about but there was this singer named Seiko Matsuda that was popular when I was young. She had the exact same haircut." Five of the zombies let out deep sighs of relief, Ai silently watched for Junko's reaction.</p><p>"...I've heard of her, yes." Junko managed a small smile, it must have been the first time in her life that she was happy to be compared to Seiko Matsuda but the all too familiar ire and envy had only been shallowly buried. As the skewers were pulled off of the grill to be served, the woman continued the conversation with little stopping. </p><p>"That hair style was popular among idols back in my day now that I think about it. There was another singer, must have been early <em>early </em>days, who wore her hair the same way. Exactly the same- she even had it long in the back." She tsked and put her hand on her hip. "What was her name?"</p><p>"Hey, can you show me where we parked the car? I must have left the camera in there." Ai quickly walked over, took Junko by the arm, and ushered Junko a ways away from the stall. Once out of sight and earshot, Junko let out a shuddering breath. "We need to start coming up with stories whenever we're about to get recognized." </p><p>Junko didn't respond because she was too preoccupied with fighting the urge to go back to the van. She managed, partly because she knew Ai wouldn't let her. After a few minutes, the two returned to the group and by then the order had been fulfilled and paid so they gave a wide berth to avoid falling into another conversation with the vendor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No matter how many times Junko did this, there was always that twist of nerves that followed like a shadow. None of that mattered the second she stepped out on stage. To be an idol meant to put up the image of perfection. The audience saw an idol who was at home on the stage and Junko was but she was also nervous. Her manager said that he knew of a pharmacist that could help with that without even having to meet with her but like many things he promised, it had been repeatedly pushed aside. Junko's unslipping smile would have to suffice for now.</p><p>She was on standby, a place in-between that she had grown used to. A woman who worked in costuming fussed with her dress to address any wrinkle or ribbon. The dress they had given her was one that Junko positively adored, it was as red as a tulip and moved so nicely when she turned. Junko would have happily taken the dress home with her but it, as with every dress she wore during shows, was only a rental.</p><p>Her PA was waiting nearby and the second the costumer let her be, she beckoned him to come close. He did though Junko curled and uncurled her fingers so that he would lean in. "Please have pain killers and a hot water bottle in my dressing room by the time I get off of stage."</p><p>"Yes, Miss Konno."</p><p>A member of the stage crew called out for her and Junko quickly took four big steps away from him. No more standing around or looking worried. Junko bundled up the nerves and the dull aches and pushed them away.</p><p>The idol breezed out onto the stage. Her demure smile and wave was met with applause for their idol.</p><p>With the rest of the girls by her side, Junko began looking less at the street and more at what was in front of her. Once the last of the skewers had been done away with, they migrated over to searching for games. The first stall they came across had a row of toy rifles that lobbed corks at prizes. On one of the higher rows was an ugly misshapen thing of a plushie that Ai and Saki took one look at and decided that it belonged with them. Junko would have stood behind them and watched but Yugiri had found a game of Falling Buddha and invited Junko to play with her. Sakura, Lily, and Tae had come across a game of Super Ball Scooping and decided to combine their efforts. Lily had at first set her sights on the adjacent game with goldfish but Sakura had to remind her that they didn't have an aquarium.</p><p>Once the game warden had handed Yugiri the wooden mallet, she lifted it up and gave it a few practicing swings through the air as if it were a sword. Without turning her head, her eyes caught Junko's perplexed gaze and a coy smile made itself at home on the courtesan's lips. She brought the mallet down with expert control and knocked the middle wooden disc out from the stack. The blocks above it fell the level down without so much as shifting to the side. She knocked out the bottom disc with ease and then with only slightly more caution, the final disk. The painted disk stood on the ground with sturdy balance as the game warden took the mallet back and scratched his head. All he could do was broadly gesture towards the array of prizes.</p><p>Yugiri selected a daruma and showed it to Junko with subdued pride. "I've been thinking for a while that if the eight of us will be living together, then we ought to make our house feel like a home. It's so impersonal right now that it needs little touches like this."</p><p>"I wonder if Kotaro thought about what would happen if we won prizes when he gave us spending money." Junko laughed. When the game warden offered her the mallet next, Junko didn't shy away. Her hands were steady and a mallet was nothing more than a large hammer and Junko knew how to use a hammer. She left forward to get into position but quickly found her bangs to be getting in the way. Standing back up straight, Junko pushed her hair back. A few meters in front of her, Tae had immediately spilled the substantial ball of bouncy balls she had won much to Sakura's panic. Tae, rather than helping to pick them up, had taken to violently bouncing the balls in her reach to see how high she could get them.</p><p>A few meters behind them was the photographer from the magazine. Junko's hand fell to her side and curled around the mallet. He was preoccupied with his work, camera pointed at a stall full of noise makers, not any of them. Tearing her eyes away, Junko lined up the mallet and aimed for the middle disk. The two upper disks landed awkwardly and slanted but neither fell. Glancing up again, she spotted the photographer again and now the editor beside him. He too was facing the stand but Junko kept waiting for him to look at her. The game warden cleared his throat so Junko lined up her next shot. Still, she looked back at him and- <em>clunk! </em>She had fully struck the topmost block.</p><p>Junko reclined on the sofa in the small dressing room. She had discarded her shoes to curl up around the hot water bottle before all of the heat was leeched from it into the ether. A knock came from the door and before Junko could move to slip her uncomfortable shoes back on, three more knocks followed in rapid succession and Junko leaned back in her seat. "Come in."</p><p>The door was pushed open by the PA as he walked in sideways and shut the door with his foot. His arms were preoccupied with a bouquet of flowers and a handful of letters. He let the letters spill out on the table before offering the bouquet to Junko- white roses, pristine.</p><p>"These are beautiful!" Junko took the flowers with open arms. The were fragrant, smelling just as wonderful as they looked. "I hope he finishes up business soon, I'd like to get these in water as soon as I can."</p><p>"You really have some dedicated fans," The PA chuckled. "the guy who brought these must have been worried about them getting crushed or wilting the whole show. How're you feeling now?"</p><p>"Exhausted but over the moon and ready to do it all again tomorrow-but still achey."</p><p>"The boss might be a while. Feel like reading some fan letters while we wait?"</p><p>Junko was still getting used to to fan letters. An applauding audience was one thing, if even that still felt like a surprise at the end of a show, but to have people actually write to her was another game entirely. The big stars got fan letters. "Alright, a few!"</p><p>The PA grinned and grabbed the first letter from the pile, handing it to her to open. Junko set the flowers down on the table and split the envelope open. The hand writing was that of a young person, perhaps not even in middle school yet. "<em>Miss Konno. All my friends at school really love you but I was the one who really got them into your music even if they want to act like they learned about you themselves. This is the first concert I've ever gone to and it was the joint!! All of my friends are gonna go bananas when they find out I actually got to see you live! </em>Aw, that was from someone named Ginko."</p><p>"<em>To the Effervescent Miss Junko Konno,"  </em>The PA began another letter in a put upon posh voice. "<em>Seiko Matsuda simply does not hold a candle to you. Those who suggest otherwise are simple fools who are utterly tone</em> <em>deaf</em>. And that was from S. Ige."</p><p>"A little mean but I don't hate to hear it. What about this one?" Junko reached for a pristine white envelope and looked it over. The fan had forgone any writing in favor of a simple drawing of a rose. Junko opened the letter and unfurled the page. Her smile quickly ran away as she read the message.</p><p>"Why're you making that face? What does it say."</p><p>"It's just- look at it." She turned it towards him.</p><p>The sender hadn't included a name, nor an introduction. A single message filled the page, simple but direct.</p><p>
  <em>I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.</em>
</p>
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